America Is Doomed

Because this exists:

America!

Folks, this is a picture of low sodium salt. Let me say that again. This is a picture of low sodium salt.

It’s time for a quick chemistry lesson. Salt is also known by its chemical name, sodium chloride. It has the formula NaCl. That’s one sodium ion bonded to one chlorine ion. If you remove the sodium, you have chlorine. Or to put it another way, if you remove the sodium, you no longer have salt.

So how do you get low sodium salt? You don’t. The phrase “33% less sodium per teaspoon” is correctly read as “33% less salt per teaspoon”. My theory was that this could be easily accomplished by adding a filler. And I was right! The second ingredient listed (after salt) on the back of the package was “silicon dioxide”. Time for your second chemistry lesson. Silicon dioxide, SiO2, is the chemical name for sand. Yes, sand.

And so the phrase “33% less sodium per teaspoon” can also be correctly read as “33% more sand per teaspoon”. The good folks at Diamond Crystal have successfully discovered a way to sell you sand.

If you initially saw the above picture and thought “hey, great idea!”, I have a really fantastic bridge to sell you.

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