Contraceptives And Lactating Guys, Clearly

Just to recap, the Republicans will argue that the institution of marriage exists to protect society from the scourge of unplanned pregnancy, and thus is not applicable to gay people. 

Protecting society from the scourge of unplanned pregnancy via sex ed, contraception, and family planning is unacceptable, naturally. 

Also, too:

A Catholic bishop who was instrumental in creating California’s Proposition 8 says that same sex marriage is a natural impossibility and granting marriage rights for LGBT couples “is like legalizing male breastfeeding.”

That’s true! In the sense that it is, in no conceivable way whatsoever, true.

So there you have it. Gay people can’t get married because lactation, be it by a male or a (single) female.

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